Dear human-

Apparently SOME of you don't realize there is a giant death ray pointed at your planet, because my websites have been hacked. -17 points from Earth's collective IQ!!!

I'm taking them down for now, but they will be back online shortly. In the meantime, you can rest assured that those responsible are being identified and will soon be added to our abduction volunteers list. We will endeavor to find the cause of their narcissistic neuroses by implementing all of our ample probing policies.

That is all.